No one said it was going to be easy.
But does it have to be this hard?
If you love to travel chances are you may find yourself in a long distance love situation at some point. The best thing about long distance relationships (LDRs) is that they promise to suck upfront – there’s no hiding it, so don’t fool yourself. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to maintain connection with your partner through this temporary time of separateness…until you two shall meet again.
Lucky for us we live in a time of technological innovation and have many tools at our disposal. However, travelers experience a different set of challenges with keeping in contact because cell phone coverage and wifi signal don’t come easy in forests, deserts, or the world’s best kept secrets. So how do two lovebirds maintain a sense of connection and togetherness when they’re flying in opposite directions? Good old fashioned technology can’t always swoop in to save the day.
I’m no self proclaimed relationship expert, but I have maintained two relationships with serious long distance stretches. I’m here to share what I’ve learned to help travelers and long distance lovers alike.
I’ve broken it down to 5 aspects of what makes a long distance relationship suck less.
Vision. Get clear on what you are doing and why are you doing it. There’s something compelling you to entertain the idea of being apart, what is it? Write it down for those times when you can’t for the life of you remember why you agreed to this arrangement in the first place.
Apprehensions. Discuss what scares you. Share what you want/need during this challenging time. Is it a phone call everyday? And when that’s not logistically possible what would you like to happen? Writing an email or letter can be a healing salve. Whatever it is that causes separation anxiety I highly suggest working together to come to an agreement that works for both parties.
Communication. Be creative. Be honest. Be real. True connection comes from sharing the vulnerable parts of yourself. If it’s getting hard, say it. Today there are so many ways to deliver a message, for example: text, email, letter, Facebook messenger, Google hangouts, Snap Chat, landline calls, What’s App, Facetime & Skype, etc. Little things like a random email or letter can really brighten someone’s day. What is important is to communicate travel plans, predictable off grid times, and real feelings.
Date planning. When I plane a phone date I feel more secure in the time leading up to said date. Wishy washy I’ll-call-you-when-I-can “plans” are not the same as phone dates. Phone dates require setting time aside from what’s right in front of you for who is important to you. It is the difference between getting a call in a car full of people or being in a quiet space with nothing else demanding attention. One solid hour on a phone date can make an entire week fly by. It can be difficult to make – and keep – these phone date plans. But that’s what also makes it special. It is also important to be understanding if some unforeseen circumstance should arise preventing one from keeping the date. Remember these dates are there to help, so don’t let them ruin your day if they can’t be kept. But do try your best to communicate if the date can’t be kept- and don’t hold it over your lovers head if it’s missed without prior communication. They are travelling and they love you so just plan the next one and try again.
Faith. Faith that it’s all going to work out for the best. Faith that this time shall pass and you shall end up in each other’s arms again. Faith is helpful when you miss them and can’t talk to them. Between phone dates and wifi connectivity faith is there when you wake up in the middle of the night – alone. What do you have faith in? Have faith in your vision. Know you two are accomplishing your goals together even as you are currently a part.
Free Bonus Tip:
Countdown. There’s nothing quite like watching the time whittle away when every second means you are that much closer to your lover. Search for a countdown timer online, my favorites are the ones that maintain a website just for your timer. I share it with my lover and it helps us both. Pretty soon you’ll be celebrating each morning for it means one less sleep till your romantic reunion. Best part is that it takes only a few minutes to set up and will help the entire time you are apart.
If you find yourself singing the LDR blues remind yourself of your vision. Have faith (a.k.a patience) that it will happen, and think about the good that’s coming from this trying time.
When missing them is all you can think about consider this for consolation, they are likely missing you just as much as you are missing them.
Have you found any other tricks that work for you? Sound off by leaving a comment.
Happy trails lovers.
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